Another Guadalajara cabbie and I struck up a conversation yesterday, while I was on my way to the book fair from an art musuem in Zapopan.
He’d asked where I was from — “Espana?” he guessed — and we chit-chatted about the differences between Guadalajara and Mexico City. I mentioned that I’d moved to Mexico for my husband’s job, and the cabbie, who looked no older than 30, asked how my husband was enjoying Guadalajara.
“Oh, he’s not here,” I said. “I came by myself.”
He looked surprised.
“Why didn’t he come?”
“Because he had to work.”
“So you’re here completely by yourself?”
“Yes.”
“Really?”
(Me, wondering whether I should continue further, lest he pull off the road and rob me): “Yes, really.”
He eyed me through the rearview mirror.
“Orale!” he finally said. “You’re brave.”
“I’m an American woman,” I said. “We’re very independent.”
That made him laugh.
I think your post exaggerates the point a bit. Is it really that Mexican women are not used to go places by themselves? Just look around in the book fair in Guadalajara and you will find that this is not the case at all. I’m a middle class Mexican (not rich by any stretch of the imagination) and ALL my female friends travel by themselves to different places in Mexico and sometimes (not very often) abroad. This might not be true of all Mexican women, but it is certainly the case for the middle class. How big is this group? Somewhere between 45 and 55% of the population according to various sources (Castañeda, INEGI, Sedesol).
While I do agree American women are very independent, I do agree with Sergio as well. I am 26 yrs old and before my brother and I were born my mother, who was married already, traveled around Mexico extensively for pleasure alone and this was back in the 1970’s. I was raised in the US and I am more independent than most of my Mexican raised cousins but I believe it just depends on the situation and individual like anything else in life.
***By the way, great blog, I enjoy it very much.
Sergio: Thanks for your insight. My point really wasn’t to generalize and say *all* Mexicans feel this way, but to be honest, I’ve actually been surprised by the number of people here who’ve reacted with wonderment when I’ve said I’m traveling (or going to a bar) without my husband. This taxi driver wasn’t the first. But like Josie said, I’m sure it depends on the person — their level of education and probably their socioeconomic status. I’m sure people would react the same in the U.S., in certain areas.
What really intrigues me is the notion that American women really *are* more independent than Mexican women. Is it true? If so, why? I remember talking to a girlfriend several months ago, who is Mexican and American — dual citizen, bicultural, completely bilingual. She said it’s been hard to date in DF because she’s often seen as “too gringa” for the Mexicans and “too Mexican” for the gringos. When I asked her what “too gringa” meant, she said whenever she wants to hang out by herself, the Mexican men usually take umbrage. “I’m very independent, and they don’t understand that,” she said. Of course there are Mexican men who don’t act like this — she just hasn’t met them yet.
I think I agree with all what you say. I’m sure American women are more independent than Mexican women on average, but for some reason I felt that your post was taking that point a bit too far as I am used to see my (married) friends travel alone all the time.
Anyways, thanks for sharing your thoughts, I really enjoy very much reading your blog!
Short, sweet and to the point.
I’ve gotten this in lots of countries before, not just Mexico or Latin countries–even in the US. Best case: while being detained by the Venezuelan police for 4+ hours (don’t ask), they kept looking at my passport, then back over at me, and asking, “Y estas sola?”
I guess we’re just muy valientes.
Four hours? Whoa. I want to hear that story someday. I’ve heard great things about Venezuela btw… tried the absolutely fablulous “reina pepiada” at a friend’s house a few weeks ago, and it’s my new goal to go to VZ and eat it there. It’s basically a cross between chicken salad and guacamole, and you stuff it in an arepa. Uh-may-zing.
Great pic of it here (scroll to bottom): http://theyarnmonkey.blogspot.com/2008/10/good-stuff-from-caracas.html
I like how it all related back to food. A girl after my own heart…
I have to say that at least in my area most of the married women are expected not to be out a lot with out their husbands unless its for groceries. I have asked women out to coffee and the do the polite maybe some other time which means no I cant. I can see where it would be hard for your friend. I also know I am much more…. how do I say it…. Demanding about my husbands. I find that the women are very passive in the relationship and that I deff am not.
Although I must add that Im not sure if you were brave or just plain crazy to to all over Guad alone. 😉 I for sure wouldn’t do that and I have a feeling when he said you were brave he meant because you were an American in a Mexican city alone. And even after many trips to Guad you wont see me there alone. Of course my home town here in Mexico is much smaller than yours. I loved the post and how you wrote it.