The Mija Chronicles

Mexican food and culture, on both sides of the border

Hasta luego

by

While Lesley’s studying at an ashram in India, her husband Crayton is guest-posting. Please be kind to him.

So! Lesley is making her way back to Mexico City. I want to thank all of the visitors and commenters for keeping me company in her absence. Mescalapalooza is still in the works, so you’ll get the full report on the Mija Chronicles as soon as we get scheduling arranged.

Meantime, I wanted to dedicate this last post to some friends who have become very dear to us during our time here. We finished up a year here in January (you can see Lesley’s first posts here), and I really don’t know how we would have managed as well as we have without the help and advice of Joy and her husband Brendan. Not only did they guide us through some of the basic, learning-curve kind of stuff when we first arrived, but they welcomed us into their circle of friends so warmly that we really didn’t ever get lonely. In short, they are two fantastic people.

And they’re going to be outta here soon, which is something we’re learning to accept about life abroad. I’m an Army brat, and I moved around enough to get accustomed to the coming and going of people, how moving is part of life and how, in the end, when you know enough people who have left for somewhere else, it allows you to end up with really great friends all over the world. (Which is good when you go to New York or Paris or Bombay or Bangkok and you want to crash at somebody’s pad.)

When we arrived in Mexico, it seemed like every other week we were going to somebody’s despedida, or goodbye party. Joy and Brendan won’t be the only close friends we’ve made that will leave Mexico this year. People come to live here for an experience or for a job, an escape or a self-discovery, and at some point that ends for a lot of people, and they go back to their home turf. (The alternative is to “go native,” and that happens too, but it’s rarer.) I get really sad when we think about friends leaving, but I try to remind myself that it’s part of what I signed up for by choosing to live in another country.

The way to ameliorate some of that sadness is, of course, to also make friends with people who aren’t as likely to leave, such as, y’know, Mexicans. I was really worried when I first arrived here that I would gravitate to my own kind and not make a lot of Mexican friends. And truth be told, there are times when I’ve done that. But slowly, as my Spanish gets better and I feel more comfortable, I’m spending more and more time with Mexicans, who I’ve decided like having me around as a sort of Balki Bartokomous immigrant character who gets stuff wrong but has a good heart.

Still, there’s always going to be a bit of gravitation toward fellow expats, because we have so much in common and we help each other, and because we’re all a little strange. With every despedida will come another bienvenido. Somebody will arrive from abroad, and we’ll get to be their Joy and Brendan, helping them navigate the banks and the utilities and telling them not to freak out when the camote whistle sounds for the first time.

Thanks, guys.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. I love this post thanks for breaking it out like this. We just meet a couple at our doctor visit last night who have only been here for 4 months, mind you they are both Mexican natives but were raised in the US and have now had to move back. Anyway it did feel nice to clue them in on a few things last night and to see their face light up when we invited them over for dinner.

  2. So sweet of you, this made my day! Part of the reason we chose to leave is because of the constant going-away parties — it breaks my heart a little bit each time, specifically because I’m not used to it. Ex-pat life definitely takes a special skin of person who can handle the constant change along with the mysterious cultural differences.

    We’re going to miss ya’ll tons, but I’m confident we’ll see each other from time to time.

  3. You are fortunate to live in a area where you can meet fellow expatriates in person. I have met none in Veracruz city, which is good in a way because it forces me to socialize with the locals, but I would love to have a nice native English speaker nearby sometimes. Enjoy all the people you encounter here, it really makes life more pleasant to befriend someone.

  5. Hi there. I agree with Don Cuevas – you did good i Lesley’s absence! I’m looking forward to hearing all about her trip to India. And perhaps a future debut announcement of your own blog –

  6. Nice post, Crayton. Joy and Brendan are the best. While Oscar and I were in Mexico City, they helped make us feel at home as well. And even though distances inevitably happen, they’re the type of people with whom you never lose touch.

  7. This was such a great post, Crayton! And I agree with the others, you really should consider starting your own blog, or guest post for Lesley on a regular basis.

  9. I envy all of you so much! I’ve been wanting to move out there since my visit in 04. Im planning on going in early october. I just would realy like to know, how you came to find an apt.? It is becoming really hard for me to find one over the internet. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.

    • Hi, Wendy. While there are a few places online you can look for apartments, such as Craigslist and metroscubicos.com, in our experience it’s best to just wander around neighborhoods you like. Lots of buildings have signs in the window that say “Rento departmento,” with a number for more info. (Unfortunately, sometimes they forget to take the signs out of the iwndow when the apartment has been rented already.)

      A lot of people we know here have also used brokers to find a place, with pretty good success. I’m sure we could pass some names along if you like, just let us know.

      There are a lot of furnished apartments around town, too, and I’d imagine you wouldn’t have any problem just renting one for a month or two to give yourself time to look for a more permanent residence.

    • I actually just got back from four months in Mexico. I was at my grandmothers in Puebla though. And the days I spent in Mexico City were mostly of me getting lost, trying to find a certain museum or just taking in the city. Instead of searching for an apartment. All I know is that I want to be close to my grandmas house and family friends. I am 21 after all and currently live at home with my dad. So I dont think im completly ready to be away from the little emotional support I have in mexico.

      And I was considering Coyoacan, I don’t really know any other neighborhoods that would be safe. I was told to avoid El Centro, incase of a big earthquake. My uncle told me he liked living in Cuauhtemoc, when he was attending college. Other than that I have no idea where to go and look.

      I really appreciate the help and I will ask for help as the day approaches. And you are doing a great job with the blog while your wife is gone.

      • I hadn’t heard about the Centro-earthquake connection. I have heard that Condesa-Roma is considered pretty earthquake-safe because it fared well in the last Big One, but I’d love to have a geologist weigh in on whether past earthquake results are in an indicator of future earthquake results.

        Coyoacan is beautiful. We’ve talked about living there, but at first glance it looks like a car would be almost essential. Someone may want to correct me on that.

        We can heartily endorse Cuauhtemoc. It’s a great location to get to the other popular neighborhoods and has its own local amenities as well.

      • Yeah I was really considering el Centro until I was told that, that was a big no no. Condesa-Roma is way too out of my price range though.. haha. I would also like to know if it affects the future earthquakes.

        I was told the opposite about the car thing in Coyoacan. And it really is beautiful. So different from the rest of the city, really peaceful. I can totally see myself living there. Do you live in Cauhtemoc? I haven’t really been there so I wouldn’t know how it is there. I’ll consider it seeing that you two recomend it. Thanks for everything again.

  10. Thanks to everybody for the very, very nice things you said. I don’t think I have anywhere near the stamina required to keep a blog like this going for any meaningful length of time, and I’ve certainly gained a healthy respect for the amount of time and energy it takes Lesley to put a good post together every day. I don’t plan on starting my own blog, but I’m sure Lesley will allow me to contribute a post to the Mija Chronicles here or there, so this isn’t goodbye.