Whenever I’m on the phone with a Mexican person and we’re about to hang up, they linger, as if they really don’t want to say goodbye.
Me: “Bueno, te dejo.” Well, I’ll let you go.
Them: “Sale pues.”
Me: “Este… sí.”
Them: “Nos vemos.” See you soon.
Me: Silence.
Them: “Un beso.” A kiss.
My problem is that I don’t have enough of these goodbye-filler words in my arsenal. (I don’t know what “sale pues” entirely means, for example.) In the U.S., we generally say “Ok, I’ll talk to you later, bye” and hang up. Most Mexicans I’ve talked on the phone with don’t do this, and I end up hanging up too quickly, which seems rude.
I use cuídate and nos vemos. Part of me wants to throw in ándale, too, as a type of “Okay then, sounds good.” But I’m still unsure whether “un beso” works for male and female friends, and how to say goodbye when I’m talking to someone in a professional context. Cuídate seems too personal then, no? Maybe just a simple gracias, hasta luego.
Any Spanish-speakers out there have any guidance?
A bunch of “sale pueses” go a long way – what I do is I always have a bell handy and when I need to get off the phone, I ring it so it sounds like the water truck – then I have the perfect excuse to get off the phone “Ya viene el agua! Nos vemos!”
Maria: I LOVE it! Must go looking for a little bell next time I’m at the tianguis…
“Sale pues” = ‘OK,well’ or “well, OK then” or “good…”. I would do ‘te mando un abrazo’ or simply ‘un abrazo’…goes for male/female/gay/straight.. “un beso” depends who it is. But sometimes I just hang up.
I’m cracking up reading this! The worst part of being in a country whose language is not your native one is having to answer the phone. We always had French exchange students growing up, and they would run to the other room when the phone rang. I used to do the same when I moved to Ecuador. Phone language lacks that visual context, and it can be so different that in-person language.
“Sale pues” strikes me as very Mexican because I’ve heard it used there, but I’m not an expert on Mexican Spanish or on the proper response. For what it’s worth, I think “un abrazo” or “un beso” will usually end a conversation on a pleasant note while making it clear that you’re done talking! If you’re desperate, there’s always “de verdad – me tengo que ir ya!” If you’re in a professional situation, “un abrazo” may or may not work. “Hablamos” or “hablamos despues” is something I often use, but again, that could be too informal if you’re in a professional situation. Perhaps just “gracias, muy amable, chau”? Or “gracias, estaremos en contacto, hasta luego”? Or maybe you can just go through the ritual and parrot everything they say back to them? 🙂
By the way, the Brazilians can be the same way on the phone and in person. The ritual of it all makes the American in me giggle.
Hi Julia: You’re right about answering the phone. When I studied abroad in Spain in college, I worked in the school office and was terrified when the phone rang. I was always really scared that I’d have to take down an important message and end up messing it up! Luckily that never happened.
Yes, yes yes! This happens to me everytime I am on the phone with a Spanish speaking person. There seems to be a ritual 5 minute good-bye routine that you just have to work your way through. I’ve never figured it out and always come up short for appropriate add-ons. I usually do end up giving them back some of their own till they start repeating themselves, then I guess we’ve covered the territory. Ándale pues, bueno, hasta pronto, mil gracias, ciao, sí, bueno pues, este, ehhh, entonces, nos vemos.
After seeing your post on your new FB fan page, I asked my in-laws and whoever happened to walk in Hubby’s shop. For business/professional calls, most end them with “Hasta luego”. Adios is no good, because it’s too final, like you’re never going to see or speak to that person again. And many add a “Cuidate/Cuidense” and/or a “Que estes/esten bien”. 🙂
Thanks for the tips, Leslie!
Crosscultural communication in human interaction.!!!
Cuando vienes a un país cuya lengua materna no es la tuya, necesitas una inmersión en la cultura para las sutilezas. En México,-como en cualquier otra cultura- manejamos tiempo, espacio, cercania, distancia social, espacio público y privado, sincronia, poli o multi tareas ( multitask) el idioma, la entonación y los gestos de manera significativa y de dificil lectura para extranjeros. De modo que somos una cultura de ALTO CONTEXTO! no importa cuan amable seas y sutil en la despedida siempre hay una forma diferente de dirijirte a cada quien.
Mil gracias, es suficiente si alguien te llama para darte información, datos, preguntar sobre tu oferta profesional y colgar diciendo adios o hasta luego, incluso bye.
Pero si es alguien cercano es importante que le dejes saber el “next step” , como entonces espero tu llamada, o te hablo la próxima semana.
Si es una persona cercana sea hombre o mujer puedes mandarle un “cuidate”, abrazos y besos solo si es realmente muy cercana. No se usa para los esposos de las amigas.
El manejo del tiempo al telefono es una de las manifestaciones culturales mas precisas de la cultura en cuestión. De ahi proviene nuestro….mañana…..al ratito, con todo gusto lo veo, nos hablamos….la gente permanece en la vida de los demás aun despues de colgar,
Son sutilezas que no se adquieren de un dia para otro,
Puedes snorkelear en la cultura, puedes surfear en la cultura y puedes bucear en la cultura.
Ahi estan las diferencias.
Los mexicanos lo percibimos y actuamos en consecuencia.
Hola Adriana: Muchas gracias (o debo decir mil gracias?) por dejar un comentario tan detallado. Ésta información me ayuda un montón. Espero tener más paciencia con las sutilezas de la cultura.
I usually just say, gracias, okay, bye….and that is the end of it. Works for me but my Spanish is a work in progress so maybe this is rude? Oh great…now I need help. 🙂
Seems like I hear “Que descanses!” a lot and not just at night. And don’t forget the always popular “Bai!”
jaja i love that you responded to “sale pues” with “este….. si……” when all else fails, just agree. 🙂
i’d think “estamos en contacto” is appropriate for professional calls. like much else in mexican culture, it sounds more committed than it is actually meant to be… doesn’t mean you REALLY have to talk to them later, but is much better than saying “besiiiiitos” to a professor/business colleague/stranger.
Love “estamos en contacto.” Although some people who I consider friends say it to me, which makes me feel a little odd.
i know, when friends say it to me, i want to respond with “well, duh!” 🙂
I don’t know Lesley, because my novia (who is from and still lives in El DF) simply says “Te amo, bye” and hangs up, sometimes leaving me hanging “hello? hello? hello???”
When I can’t get someone off the phone I freaking “Beso!” “Beso!” them out the door. That’s my response for everything until they realize they can’t continue a conversation with me because all I’m going to say is “Beso!”
Beso-ing them to death… never thought about that before. Thanks Kyle. 🙂
It’s just common sense (not saying you don’t have any).
close friends = besitos y abrazotes – ciasito – ciao ciao – te quiero mucho
acquaintances = hasta pronto, adios, and the spanglish “bueno bye”
business = hasta luego, gracias por todo
So do people actually say chausito? I heard one woman say it once, and I wasn’t sure if it was just an anomaly. Love “Bueno bye.” Reminds me of living in South Texas.
Hi Lesley. I was recently in Argentina, mostly Buenos Aires, and found chau chau being the most common way to say “see ya” among people that know each other. In Mexico is more of a “chao” or “chaocito” if you will, or at least is how I hear it. I personally use chaocito quite often.
Leslie, I think there are definite cultural differences and expectations in the way Hispanics, in or out, of Mexico handle telephone conversations. It’s much like a verbal “a tomar un cafecito”. You wouldn’t go to someone’s home, slurp down your coffee, and then run. There is a deliberate dawdling at the end of a phone call which simply means the other person is enjoying your company. If the call is a business matter, then one can end bring the conversation to an end by announcing that you are going to end by simply saying something like, “bueno”, or “entonces me voy”, and then end with “adios”. “Besos”, or “besitos” are not in order, unless you are related, or on very friendly terms with the caller. The American way of abruptly ending telephone calls is considered rude, or at least lacking social grace.
Hi Cinnamon: I think I’m probably an impatient person by nature, and when I’m ready to get off the phone, I’m ready to get off the phone. But you’re right that it’s worth adjusting my worldview a bit to enjoy someone else’s company (and therefore life) a little more.
Yes! This is so hard. I haven’t mastered it either. When it’s not someone talking with me, but two Mexicans talking to each other on the phone, I notice that ándale gets said about 5 times before the call finishes, but it doesn’t work when I do it. I guess this is something we’ll never get right. It’s specific to phone calls; there isn’t a problem saying goodbye in person.
Margaret: Totally. I don’t think it works when I say “ándale” either. Maybe it’s the accent. Saying goodbye in person feels natural to me — the kiss on the cheek seems to finalize everything.
haha love intercultural miscommunication. As a chilango living outside Mexico I experience it on a daily basis. And yeah, talking on the phone on a language which is not your first is really complicated, I suffer every time I have to do it!
Lesly, I just discovered your blog a few days ago and it’s fantastic! I’ve already read it from the beginning, your writing style is great and the experiences you write about are great fun. You’ve made a fan out of me. Congratulations!
“El que mucho se depide, pocas ganas tiene de irse.”
Que tal un “me está entrando otra llamada” o haces como que…se esta cortando…un “te cuidas”
Descubrí tu blog siguiendo Mi Blog es tu blog, y me ha fascinado.
si te late date tambien una vuelta por el mío, tiene un poquito de todo.
Me encantó, felicidades!!
Gracias Arthur! Me gusta “te cuidas.” 🙂
“ay te dejo” is my usual tagline to end all my spanish phone calls, hadnt heard of sale pues.
I agree with the poster who said that “sale” means like “ok”, or it can also mean “I’m cool with that/works for me”. I’d thought about it, and you’re right. I don’t know why, but we Mexicans take long to say goodbye, and not only at the phone. Usually an “adiós” or “bye” after one “te dejo” or “besos/un abrazo” does the trick, though I think in Spanish “adiós” have much more finality to it than “bye”.
The custom is so ingrained in us that we sometimes make fun f it. Like when you’re speaking with your boyfriend and you’re like “Bueno, pues…” until one of both says “ya cuelga”, and the other “no, tú cuelga”. “No, tú primero”, hee.
What a great conversation. I am always amused that the hello’s and good bye’s in my conversations here in Mexico often take longer than any possible content that I and the other speaker have to share. Taking notes!!
I’ll let you guys in on a little secret: those of us from Hispanic cultures by far seem to value the human communication/interaction process more so than our American counterparts, especially the vocalics behind interaction. It’s customary, even in highly formal business deals, to take ten to fifteen minutes to warm up into what will become the main topic and then probably ten to fifteen to cool down into the exit stages of a conversations. Asking about family, health, etc. isn’t nosy – it’s how you know they care about having a conversation with you. Hang in there guys! 😀 So if you’re honestly in a hurry to get to that doctor’s appointment just say so and we’ll get that you don’t have the time to chit chat just at the moment but say that you’ll ‘talk later’ as an ending otherwise it sounds a bit rude.