I didn’t mean to take a three-year hiatus from blogging. But, as it turns out, being a decent wife and partner, having a baby, publishing a cookbook, writing freelance food articles, and being CEO of a growing food tourism business are a little too much for one woman—even me, the woman who thrives on doing a million things at once—to juggle at one time. Something had to give in 2015, and that thing was my blog.
I have really missed writing here, though. I miss having a space to talk about what’s on my mind. That’s really why I started blogging in 2009, although it eventually morphed into a space devoted to Mexican food. What’s on my mind lately churns around more than Mexican food. (But I am still interested in that, too.) One of the reasons I stopped blogging was because I wasn’t sure I could still share those other things here. Now my attitude is: why can’t I?
So what am I thinking about lately? Parenting. My identity as a working mother. (That is my now-3-year-old in the photo above.) Creating a healthy and thriving business, and making sure my team is challenged and fulfilled. My future food projects. And transitions.
Crayton got a job opportunity in Los Angeles in 2017, so in January of that year we shipped off from New York for LA. I was really happy to be back in Southern California and close to my family. He didn’t have a specific contract or length of time for the job, but I hoped for at least five years. The universe had other plans, though. Earlier this year Crayton was offered a promotion for a management position back in New York.
I didn’t want to leave. California felt right to me. New opportunities were starting to shake loose, and I was looking forward to sitting with these thoughts of what it meant to be home and view the same landscape and feel the same air that I did as a kid, and to just be in this exciting epicenter of Mexican-American culture, which I had not really explored yet as an adult.
None of those reasons felt compelling enough to put my foot down and say no to a move, especially when considering how potentially awesome this move would be for Crayton and his career. And how much it might benefit our son, too. So we moved back. We got here in April of this year. Total time in LA: 14 months.
Between you, me, and the fence post—as my mother-in-law says—there are days when I still wonder whether this was the right call. Our “second time” life in New York is actually pretty great, and much more convenient and stress-free than it was the first time around. But I still miss not being home, and not being in the same time zone as my dad and my mom and my brothers, to be able to give quick them a quick call in the morning before I start my day. I still think about what staying in California might have meant for me. I am still not comfortable with the idea that I have become a “trailing spouse.” (Is that what I am?)
There’s another big change coming, too. I’m expecting our second child in October.
How we will manage two children in a small New York apartment, and how I will continue to be an entrepreneur and writer and CEO and mother, while also stoking other creative irons I’ve got in the fire, are all things that are on my mind. But hopefully I will be able to come here more often and write more. That’s my goal, anyway.
Looking forward to being here more, soon.
Me in May 2018, in Long Island City.
Mija, I look forward to anything you have to share. It doesn’t have to be all about food. I’m in California, so hearing about your life in NY will be interesting.
Thank you Alice! I appreciate the words of support.
I’ve missed your blogs! Handle what you can and let the rest slide. Sometimes you’ll be 110% mom and 25% everything else, and sometimes you’ll be 25% mom and 110% everything else. That’s OK. In fact it’s better for the kiddos. A little benign neglect can be a good thing! (Speaking as a mom of three who have survived my benign neglect very well!) Bienvenida de nuevo, Mija!
P.S. dile hola a Crayton de mi parte.
We have missed you. Every time i eat a taco arabe or daydream about chiles en nogada in Puebla, I think of your blog entries. Moving is hard. We just did it for the 1st time in 17 yrs. Hopfully you didnt have as much to sort through. Living out of boxes, but my pantry is set up! I lost my 23 yr daughter in late 2016, just a few months after her college graduation. Unintentional Fentanyl poisoning.. She was my travel partner, we had been to many places in MX together, NYC, Japan, etc, always exploring the foods, markets, etc. You are pregnant with your 2nd child. Circle of life. Enjoy this period while you are the most important thing in the worl to your son and 2nd one. It’s a very precious time.
@Eileen, first off, I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. My heart and thoughts are with you.
On the move, we barely had a chance to finish unpacking from LA, so packing up everything again and going back to NYC wasn’t as difficult as we thought. (I am also still getting rid of stuff here in New York, to be able to fit everything int our new apartment.)
Thank you for the lovely words about how special this time in motherhood is. I try to remember that my son won’t always want to hold my hand or give me snuggles or rush back home to spend time with me. It evens out all the times there are tantrums and dealing with his big emotions. 🙂
Peggy, we have both been thinking of you. Thank you for the words of wisdom — they resonated with me. Both Crayton and I send you love from NYC!
As a fifth generation Californian, living in Northern Jersey and commuting into the City for 10 years was an experience. When I had a chance to return to the Bay Area,, I jumped at it even though it was several steps back professionally. I admire your courage for eating Mexican street food and of course the wonderful result in Eat Mexico. After two years in the Peace Corps with numerous health warnings (Chile) and then 6 weeks in Mexico City in 1967, I stayed away from lettuce, tomatoes, anything growing close to the ground. I must assume street food is safer these days. Either that or there might be something else growing inside you along with the new baby. Am trying to get more copies of your book into Rancho Gordo. My son lives in Napa so will put in a plug each time I visit him.
Thanks, Nelson. My book is actually out of stock at the distributor, so there are no more copies to order! Trying to work on that with my publisher. But I appreciate the plug. On food safety in Mexico in general, I think it’s of course still very much an issue. People need consistent access to clean water and an infrastructure that will help keep their food free of contaminants. I did get sick while I lived there, but most of the time it was honestly at the nicer restaurants, not the street stands. I don’t have any fear of eating on the street, as long as the item is prepared fresh in front of me.
Welcome! and very much looking forward to read you and follow you. Good look with everything you do.
Thank you Renata! I appreciate your kind words!
It’s so good to hear from you, always an inspiration! What you are doing is so impressive, and I wish you all the luck for NYC round 2!!!
What great news to hear from you. Being a parent is a wonderful blessing. I truly enjoy reading the Mija Chronicles. What great surprise landed in my inbox. Maybe you could consider keeping a simple diary with ideas to inspire you for a trimester letter.
My family and I just came back from visiting San Francisco, Sausalito, Alcatraz, Tiburon, Carmel, Monterey, Camarillo, Malibu, Santa Barbará, LA, Anaheim, San Diego and Coronado. WE LOVED IT. In fact I could easily live in California and be very happy.
The food was awesome and so as not to add unwanted weight I ate many salads for lunch. Now I am hooked. Do you have any recipes for salads? I would greatly appreciate them.
Send my regards to Crayton.
Best!
OMG! I am so happy to see another post from you. Mabrook! Felicidades! Congratulations! Binabati kita! on the move (keeping sanity somehow) and the new addition to the family.
What struck me is the term “trailing spouse” as I consider myself that too. But you are leaps ahead in being able to create creative projects (not that motherhood is already a lot) for YOURSELF. Such an inspiration!
BTW, I have cooked many a recipe from your cookbook. We are enjoying home cooked Mexican food to complement our local Mexican restaurants here in North Texas.